Mama Bears Unite
I know a lot of moms. I am a mom. And mothers come in all different shapes, sizes, personalities, and parenting styles. How we choose to raise our children is often as unique as the children themselves. Some moms are considered “helicopter moms” because they are extremely protective. Others are raising what people call “free-range children,” giving their kids more freedom to explore, make mistakes, and learn on their own. What is considered perfectly acceptable in one household may not be acceptable in another. And that’s okay. We all have different life experiences, circumstances, and perspectives that influence the way we raise our children. But there is one thing I believe most mothers have in common:
We want to protect our children.
Not too long ago, there was a viral video asking 100 moms if they would kill for their children. The video was actually created to promote a Netflix movie about a retired assassin and mother who comes out of hiding to protect her daughter. I watched the three-minute-plus video, and I can tell you this: most of those mothers would do just about anything for their children. Regardless of their parenting style, they all seemed to have the same desire—to see their children safe, healthy, happy, and successful. So what does that look like? What kinds of things do we do as mothers to give our children the best possible chance at a good life? See if you can relate to any of these:
We research products, schools, doctors, medications, activities, and just about everything else in an effort to find the best for our children.
We become experts at fixing boo-boos without causing additional pain.
We write emails, make phone calls, attend meetings, and advocate for our children when it comes to their education and well-being.
We support the fundraisers, extracurricular activities, sports, concerts, recitals, and everything else our kids are interested in, hoping to be their loudest cheerleader.
We worry about their nutrition, sleep, milestones, development, and overall health.
We schedule the braces to straighten their teeth and the glasses to help them see.
We lose sleep worrying about things they probably aren't even worried about yet.
I could keep going for hours. Because mothers spend an enormous amount of time thinking about their children. Some of it is instinctual. Even mothers in the animal kingdom spend their days protecting, feeding, and caring for their young. But the other part comes from the overwhelming love we have for our children. We genuinely want better for them than anything we have ever had or experienced—even if giving them better requires a sacrifice from us. But protection isn't always physical. Of course, it can be. If a gunman walked into a grocery store while I was shopping with my children, would I sacrifice my life to save theirs? Absolutely. Without hesitation. And I pray, Lord willing, I am never put in that situation. But there is another kind of protection that I believe many mothers overlook.
Spiritual protection.
Ephesians 6:12 tells us exactly what we are really battling: “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Think about that for a minute. If a gunman walked into a grocery store intending to harm innocent people, we would immediately see the physical threat standing in front of us. But what brought that person to that point? What kind of darkness takes hold of a human heart and convinces them to commit such evil? Who is behind that darkness? And is there anything we can do to protect our children from it? Yes, there is.
Let me be clear! I am not going to say that praying before you leave the house every morning will guarantee that nothing bad will happen to you or your children. I have experienced enough trauma in my own life to know that isn't true. And if someone is selling you that kind of Christianity, don't buy it. God is not a genie. He doesn't grant wishes simply because we pray for them. Prayer is not a magic shield that guarantees we will never experience pain, loss, sickness, tragedy, or suffering. We still live in a broken and sinful world. Scripture tells us that there are spiritual forces of evil at work in this world. We are born into sin, and because sin exists, suffering exists. Children die from disease. Innocent people are killed. Families lose loved ones. Terrorist attacks happen. Soldiers die in battle. People make horrific choices that affect thousands of lives. It is unfair. It is heartbreaking. And innocent blood is shed every single day. Is that God's desire for us? Of course not. But we live in a world where sin and darkness are still present. And until Christ returns to snuff out the darkness, suffering will continue.
My flesh wrestles with this. I'd be lying if I said otherwise. Sometimes I want to look up at God and say, “Why can't You just throat-punch Satan already so we can all live happily ever after?” I don't like suffering. And I certainly don't like watching my children suffer. If God loves us so much, why does He allow all of this to continue? Here is what I think. First, there is the mom answer. Some of you may have already experienced this. You can teach your children to do the right things. You can teach them to make good choices, say the right things, work hard, love others, and become the kind of person you know they are capable of becoming. And then they grow up. They move away. And sometimes they do the exact opposite of everything you taught them. Do you step in and save them? Maybe. But eventually, there comes a point when you have to let them make their own decisions. You have to allow them to experience consequences. You have to let them learn. I've been there with my oldest. I want to fix everything for him. I want to protect him from every bad decision, every painful consequence, and every mistake. But I can't. Because if I fix everything for him, he may never become the man I know he is meant to be. Now apply that principle to our relationship with God. Have you ever done something you knew you shouldn't do, only to have it blow up in your face? Did you learn from it? Sometimes the things we experience are the direct consequences of our own disobedience and choices. And our children aren't immune to that either. We have free will, and I thank Jesus that we do. Who wants to be forced to love? Who wants to be forced to obey? Who wants to be nothing more than a puppet? God loves us enough to give us a choice. But He never promised that our choices would be free from consequences.
So what about when bad things happen to good people? It happens, and it's not fair. But Jesus being crucified wasn't fair either. He was innocent. He didn't deserve the cross. And yet He willingly went there for you and me. Does that make suffering easier in the moment? Maybe. Maybe not. When you're sitting in a hospital room, burying someone you love, watching your child struggle, or walking through something you never imagined you'd have to endure, sometimes there aren't enough words to make it hurt less. But I want to know that no matter what happens in this life, my family and I are ready to meet Jesus when our time comes. Because this life can be unfair. It can be cruel. It can break your heart in ways you never thought possible. But eternity with Jesus makes everything different. That is the prize.
So how does all of this relate to our children? Two things.
First, they need to know Who they belong to.
Our children are going to encounter so many distractions, emotions, influences, environments, and people that will pull them in different directions. I know this because I've watched it happen to my own child. And that is why giving our children a firm foundation in Christ is so important. We cannot control every environment they will enter. We cannot control every person they will meet. We cannot control every decision they will make. But we can give them spiritual roots. We can read God's Word to them, teach them how to pray, take them to church, and talk about Jesus in our homes. We can teach them that their identity isn't found in their popularity, appearance, achievements, friends, sports, money, or accomplishments. Their identity is found in Christ. Plant those roots, and then watch what God does with them.
Second, mama, you have to practice what you preach.
You can't teach your children to seek God while you never seek Him yourself. Read the Word yourself. Pray. Get on your knees and intercede for your children. And find a church family. Matthew 18:20 says, “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” We were never meant to do this alone. There will be days when you don't have the strength to pray. There will be times when you're exhausted, discouraged, angry, confused, or simply overwhelmed. And that's why you need godly people around you. Sometimes you don't have the strength to pray for yourself or your children, but your church family does. Let them carry you, pray for you, and hold you accountable. Let them remind you of God's promises when you can't see them for yourself.
We do so much to protect our children in this world. We research their food. We choose their doctors. We protect their bodies. We advocate for them. We fight for them. We sacrifice for them. We worry about them. We love them with everything we have. So let's not neglect the most important protection of all. Their spiritual protection. The battle for our children's hearts and minds is real. And mama bears need to unite. We need to pray and to teach. We need to stand firm and support one another. We need to raise our children to know the Word of God and recognize the voice of their Shepherd. Because our children don't belong to this world. They belong to Jesus. And we should spend our lives making sure they know it.
So, mama bear, get on your knees. Pray over your babies. Teach them the Word. Take them to church. Surround yourself with other believers. And when the enemy comes knocking, let him know: These children belong to Jesus. You cannot have them.
